I agree, darn good for a first time film maker but I also agree that 20 minutes is far too long. Usually, and as much as it hurts to do so, you produce a better and more interesting film when you cut a project down in duration. Try not to fall in love with your own footage. You definitely need some good video lights so bring your girlfriend to the Salvation Army and let her pick out three pairs of shoes.
Okay, at 3:37 and another at 3:45 you have jump cuts so pick two of the three clips and cut them. Prior to those shots you have a good downward facing establishing shot of the divers on the wreck but then you jump to the upward shot. Why? The establishing shot should lead to a further shot of the exploration of the wreck imho.
At 3:56 you have two, nicely focused shots of a ray. The 2nd is moving away from you and that would be the one I'd cut.
First frogfish clip could be shortened a touch if not cut completely since you have a moving behavior shot of it following which is the better of the two.
4:19 moving through the wreck all the way to 4:31, cut in half.
4:37 moving through the wreck again....I'd cut the whole clip
Okay, I am at 5 min and I can see that you have some great clips, steady hands, no lights but great potential. I know it hurts to do so but start cutting with 5 min 15 seconds as your goal. Keep clips
no longer than 5/6 seconds unless they are fantastic behavior shots. When possible always attempt to shoot up at the subject rather than down at them which will flatten out the image.
Get her those slippers and you get the lights; a fair trade.
Edited by Steve Douglas, 11 January 2013 - 09:51 AM.