Jump to content


Photo
- - - - -

From AsianDive Forum posted by Byrie


  • Please log in to reply
No replies to this topic

#1 David

David

    Moray Eel

  • Member
  • PipPip
  • 81 posts
  • Location:Singapore

Posted 17 February 2002 - 07:48 PM

Next time you have a bad day at work. Think of this guy. Rob is a commercial 'saturation' diver for Global Divers in Louisiana. He performs underwater repairs on offshore drilling rigs. Below is an e-mail he sent to his sister. She then sent it to LaughLine, who was sponsoring a "Worst Job Experience" contest. Needless to say, she won.
Hi Sue,
Just another note from your bottom-dwelling brother. Last week I had a bad day at the office. I know you've been feeling down lately at work, so I thought I would share my dilemma with you to make you realize it's not so bad after all.
Before I can tell you what happened to me, I must first bore you with a few technicalities of my job. As you know, my office lies at the bottom of the sea. I wear a suit to the office.....a wetsuit.
This time of year the water is quite cold. So what we do to keep warm is this: We have a diesel powered industrial water heater. This $20,000 piece of shit sucks the water out of the sea. It heats it to a delightful temperature. It then pumps it down to the diver through a garden hose, which is taped to the air hose. Now this sounds like a damn good plan, and I've used it several times with no complaints. What I do, when I get to the bottom and start working, is I take the hose and stuff it down the back of my wetsuit. This floods my whole suit with warm water. It's like working in a jacuzzi.
Everything was going well until all of a sudden, my ass started to itch. So, of course, I scratched it. This only made things worse. Within a few seconds my ass started to burn. I pulled the hose out from my back, but the damage was done. In agony I realized what had happened. The hot water machine had sucked up a jellyfish and pumped into my suit. Now since I don't have any hair on my back, the jellyfish couldn't stick to it. However, the crack of my ass was not as fortunate. When I scratched what I thought was an itch, I was actually grinding the jellyfish into my ass. I informed the dive supervisor of my dilemma over the communicator. His instructions were unclear due to the fact that he, along with 5 other divers, were all laughing hysterically.
Needless to say, I aborted the dive. I was instructed to make 3 agonizing in-water decompression stops totaling 35 minutes before I could reach the surface to begin my chamber dry decompression. When I arrived at the surface, I was wearing nothing but my brass helmet.
As I climbed out of the water, the medic, with tears of laughter running down his face, handed me a tube of cream and told me to rub it on my ass as soon as I got into the chamber. The cream put the fire out, but I couldn't shit for 2 days because my asshole was swollen shut. So, next time you're having a bad day at work, think about how much worse it would be it you had a jellyfish shoved up your ass. Love, Ro

http://www.asiandive...ssages/420.html